And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
