I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize