I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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