I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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