so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
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It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
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We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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