So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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