i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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