ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
