I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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