break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
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My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
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there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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