So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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