she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
