She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
