I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
