last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
