would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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