You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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