Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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