Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Randomize
