Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
