OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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