At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
