Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
