Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
