Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
