What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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