You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Can I color on your dick again?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
