I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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