Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
