if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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