You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
