Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
