dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
