i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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