A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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