Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
OPIZZABONMYDICK
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
