Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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