my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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