I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
