I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
