Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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