I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
