When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
