There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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