I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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