I'm so fucking centered right now
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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