I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
