I didn't shave. On purpose
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
