his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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