if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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