you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
