I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
now i know why i became what i already was.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
