Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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