just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
