Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
