When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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