Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
