Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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