To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
