Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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