If i come over, it means nothing
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
