Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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