Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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