why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize